I’m Getting Happy!

My mother used to tell me growing up, that human memory is very short. This was in reference to pain and suffering. She used to say that when we were in pain or we were suffering or going through a difficulty, it would feel as if there was nothing else happening in the world, just our pain or difficulty. But the moment we got a release from the pain or we found a solution to the problem, we start to forget the extent of the pain and the magnitude of the suffering we went through. Give it some years and it fades from memory. We won’t recall the magnitude of the pain or how we felt going through the issue.  

I suppose it varies with the type of pain and for how long you experienced it. I can still recall some painful episodes in my life, though to give her credit, I can’t recall exactly how bad it felt.

I said that to say this. I am pleasantly forgetting the initial pain, fear and panic that the coronavirus brought into my life. Mind you, it’s too early to forget because we’re still in the same situation. Or even worse because, right now in my country, it is like nothing is happening. Lock down is off, people are going about their normal lives, as far as the new normal can go. Because the virus is still very present. I had difficulty joining people in normal activities.

I’ve spoken about my frustrations and difficulty in getting myself in the right frame of mind to get things done. Now, I feel the cloud of heaviness lifting and I am beginning to glimpse some sunlight, at last.

COVID-19 is still there. Like an irritant that refuses to go away. And there is still only so much I can do, but I am getting something done. I feel such a relief! I thought my life was over. It’s funny how people around me have been going about their normal business. I just couldn’t get myself together. Mind you, I tried. I avoided listening to the news, I kept my conversations positive. And yet.

It felt like the lockdown was a pause and when it was over, my own ‘Pause’button got stuck and I couldn’t lift it. I have been battling with that pause button all this time. I would pull it, press it, thump it and it refused to budge. I felt like I was in a dreamy haze and days just flowed into nights and nights into days. Prayer was difficult, but I still went through the motions.

I don’t even know, maybe I was depressed? Anyway, the good thing is I’m coming out of it, whatever it was. I’m getting happy!

It’s been an amazing week, folks! Somehow, in the midst of the drama that every day life has become, I managed to accomplish a few things in this past week. Although they are mundane things that I wouldn’t have counted as anything prior to COVID-19, I am rejoicing all the same. My spirit is lifted and I can actually experience joy close to what I used to know. I’m not quite there yet, but my head is not fuzzy anymore. I have clarity. I see the beginnings of some normalcy in my life. Maybe I have finally adapted to the new, or I am in the process of adapting. I am hopeful this will continue.

God will have His way in this pandemic and I believe He is having His way. No matter how long this lasts, it will end one day. The day will come when we will look back and wonder how we went through it. Then we will remember that it was God that saw us through. He is capable and very able to carry us through by the strength of His power. We just need to rest in His arms, under the shadow of His wings.

Maybe you’re going through something similar to what I did? Keep looking to God and keep hope alive. One day, the cloud will lift and the sun will shine again. And you will get happy again.

Don’t give up!